LET GO.
Lesson
Text: Matt. 18:21-35, Mark 11:25-26,
Matt. 5:22-26, Matthew 5:39-4, Matt. 6:9-12, Luke 17:3-5, 2 Cor. 2: 7-10
As humans there is no way we will
live together without offending one another. There are some offences that seem
to be so grievous and we think 'I can't forget this one' but this morning Jesus
is saying to you 'LET GO'.
What
is forgiveness?
Forgiveness is a compassionate
feeling that supports a willingness to forgive. It is also an act of excusing a
mistake or an offence.
There are three perspectives from
which I look at forgiveness:
1. God-to-man
2. Man-to-man
3. Self
Today we will lay emphasis on forgiving
others (man-to-man)
Why
should I forgive?
Besides saying that forgiveness is
important, I want to mention two practical reasons why forgiveness is
important.
First, forgiveness is important
because God’s forgiveness of us is dependent on our forgiving others. Look at
what the Bible has to say about this concept:
"And whenever you stand
praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him, that your Father in
heaven may also forgive you your trespasses. But if you do not forgive, neither
will your Father in heaven forgive your trespasses." (Mk 11:25-26 NKJV)
The second reason forgiveness is
important is because our spiritual freedom depends on our forgiving others.
Whenever you harbor unforgiveness in your heart you will be in bondage. You
will not have freedom when you try to worship.
"Therefore if you bring your
gift to the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against
you, leave your gift there before the altar, and go your way. First be
reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift." (Mt.
5:22-23 NKJV)
Unforgiveness hinders worship.
Forgiveness doesn’t make the other
person right, it makes you free.
OTHER
REASONS WHY WE SHOULD FORGIVE:
Forgiveness
acknowledges that there was a wrong committed.
Some people are quick to discount
the idea of forgiveness because they think it’s a type of pretending that
nothing happened - “It’s no big deal,” “Oh, don’t worry about it,” etc.
Actually, that’s not true at all.
When you honestly confront the idea of forgiveness, that very act puts you in a
place where you are acknowledging that a wrong was done - something that’s bad
enough to need forgiveness.
Forgiveness is not acting as if a
wrong was not important. Forgiveness is confrontation. Forgiveness requires
admitting that a serious wrong was done against you.
Forgiveness
changes your status from victim to victor.
When someone does something hurtful
to us, we are the victim of their meanness or their thoughtlessness. We
sometimes believe that there is nothing we can do about our victim status, but
that’s not true.
When we forgive, we are no longer powerless;
we are no longer the ones who have merely been acted upon. When we forgive, we
boldly stand and say, “You will not dictate the way I respond; you
will not dictate who I am.”
See Jesus’ words in Matthew 5:39-41.
"But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil:but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also. And if any man will sue thee at the law, and take away thy coat, let him have thy cloke also. And whosoever shall compel thee to go a mile, go with him twain."
"But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil:but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also. And if any man will sue thee at the law, and take away thy coat, let him have thy cloke also. And whosoever shall compel thee to go a mile, go with him twain."
The forgiving nature of those
actions takes power away from the one who would dictate our actions.
Forgiveness
makes sense for people who have needed, do need, and will need forgiveness.
We like to focus on the immediate
situation and dwell on the wrong done to us. We often devise harsh and
merciless responses to those who hurt us. But if we look at the bigger picture,
we are not the only ones to whom wrong has been done, we also are often the ones
who have done wrong to others.
We had best consider the parable
that Jesus told in Matt. 18:21-35.
Forgiveness
is not Jesus’ suggestion.
Matthew 18:21-35 and numerous other
passages make it clear that forgiveness is Jesus’ command.
Consider a couple of biblical
examples.
Example: In Genesis chapters 40-50
we find the story of a man named Joseph. Joseph was the eleventh of twelve
children. While he was still a boy Joseph was sold as a slave. He was carried
away against his will and spent many years living in a foreign land. When that
story played itself out Joseph had the last laugh. He turned out to be a
powerful political leader and his brothers stood before him seeking his help.
When they realized his identity they were stricken with fear. Joseph displayed
a God sized character in that situation. He said "Do not be afraid, for am I
in the place of God? But as for you, you meant evil against me; but God meant
it for good, in order to bring it about as it is this day, to save many people
alive.” (Gen. 50:19-21 NKJV)"
Joseph displayed a remarkable ability to forgive his brothers in spite of years of pain and hurt.
Joseph displayed a remarkable ability to forgive his brothers in spite of years of pain and hurt.
Example: Another example of
forgiveness is found in the life of David, who became the king of Israel. At
one point David was hunted by Saul, his adversary, as if he were a wild animal.
On several occasions David could have secretly killed his adversary but he did
not. He chose, rather, to forgive. Listen to what he said
"The Lord forbid that I should do this thing to my master, the Lord’s anointed, to stretch out my hand against him, seeing he is the anointed of the Lord." (I Sam. 24:6 NKJV
"The Lord forbid that I should do this thing to my master, the Lord’s anointed, to stretch out my hand against him, seeing he is the anointed of the Lord." (I Sam. 24:6 NKJV
The ultimate example of forgiveness
is Jesus Christ. As he hung on the cross he prayed a prayer of forgiveness, “Father
forgive them for they know not what they do.” (Lk. 23:34)
HOW
DO I FORGIVE?
Acknowledge
that you have been seriously hurt.
The starting point in pursuing
forgiveness is to admit that you’ve really been hurt. We like to pretend like
what he said didn’t really bother us or what she did didn’t even move us, but
until we are willing to admit that we were hurt by them, we’re not in a place
where we can begin to pursue forgiveness.
At this point, as we hurt, we are
likely to find some hatred in our heart. Hatred, of course, is never a good
thing, but we must be careful that we don’t try to get rid of it by covering it
up. When we find that hate in our heart, that’s simply a sign that we need to
forgive.
Surrender
your right to get even.
Few would dispute our right to get
even. The rule of the world is ‘do unto others as they’ve done unto you.’
When we choose to forgive, though,
we choose to lay aside our right to extract our revenge. In the moment of
making that decision, we are doing a couple of things: 1. We are leaving
ultimate justice and vengeance to God, and 2. We are deliberately choosing for
ourselves the path of forgiveness.
This is the first step down a
different path.
Acknowledging that we have been hurt
gets in the right place to begin, but surrendering our right to get even is the
first step down the path.
Some would argue that choosing such
a path is inevitably going to make us a patsy - we’re yielding all our power
and are going to end up as a doormat. I believe, though, that there is a power
that is unleashed in this decision that cannot come from any other source.
Search
for the real person beneath the evil mask.
When we have been wronged, we like
to caricature our wrongdoer. We emphasize all the bad things about them, we
twist anything that looks remotely good, we are quick to impugn their every
motive, and we see them only and always in one way.
The process of forgiveness requires
that we begin to look for the real person behind the caricature we’ve created
in our minds. We begin to see that they have not only hurt, they have been
hurt. We begin to see that they are weak, needy, and fallible. We begin to find
reasons for our hearts to turn toward mercy instead of malice.
This doesn’t mean we grant them
victim status and excuse all their wrong - we’re forgiving, not excusing. It
does mean that we begin to try to treat them as another participant in this messy
thing called life.
What is our motivation for doing
this? As our passage points out, we are doing for them what God did for us. God
could have simply seen our sin and said, “I’ve seen enough, that’s all I need
to know about them.” But God looked beyond our sin and saw something worth
loving. And that’s what we’ve been called to do as well.
Desire
that good things would happen to your wrongdoer.
In the process of forgiveness, we
move from dreaming of bad things befalling them towards hoping for good things
in their life.
At this point, it might be helpful
to address a related question: does forgiving mean there’s no punishment?
The answer to that is, No, forgiving
does not necessarily mean there should not be punishment.
If
possible, enjoy the healed relationship.
Sometimes the other person can’t
join you in moving towards reconciliation (for example, in forgiving a parent
now passed on).
For reconciliation to happen, they
must understand the pain that they’ve caused you and must be sorrowful over it.
But when they are, make sure you
enjoy the healing and the renewed relationship that can only come through
forgiveness.
DEACON YINKA ANIBABA
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